Pridometer. *eyeroll*

It is Pride week in my city.

My city celebrates Pride at the end of summer, so that it allows the community who is often torn in different directions every year on which pride event to attend, to still go to the “big city” pride events, while still allowing plenty of time to celebrate here, amongst our own community.

Pride means many things to many people.

Pride in your accomplishments. Pride in your uniqueness. Your sexuality. Your gender. Your *insert thing to be proud of*.

Whatever it is to whomever, is what it is for them, and noone can challenge that, take it back or invalidate it. And that’s kind of the whole point.

Every year around this time, I see others in my community trying to adopt this cookie cutter idealogy of what pride is to them, and force that onto others.

Trying to make their pride, your pride. Trying to make their story, mine.

Trying to make their narrative, our narrative.

People giving you advice on how to be, who to be, how to act, why it needs to be this way, what is best and why. And they mask it in cute little messages of half-support, half-critique. Like, you have to be proud on their level. On their standard.

As long as your mood, behavior, feelings, mission or goal aligns with what they want you to be, or think, or feel, or strive for, you’re doing whats best for you.

But the minute it no longer registers on their pridometer, then you’re letting yourself down. Letting your community down. Not living your best life. Not living up to THEIR standards. And then its problematic for them.

I just want to say that I am 39 years old. I have lived my entire adult life as proud, open, HONEST and when committed, FULLY commited gay man.

I have went against the grain my whole life. I have spoken out when people wanted me to stay silent. I have stood up when expected to lay down. I have fought while others watched my battles.

There isn’t a single person on this fucking Earth that gets to define what pride is for me. Or for any other person.

Instead of weaponizing pride to guilt trip or make a mockery of someone else and their feelings, situations, or scenario…..Their actions, decisions, goals or destination..Turn that bullshit around, and ask yourself why during a month about being proud of who YOU are, a month of celebrating living your best, most authentic, happy and genuine ass self….Are you turning it into a question of why someone else isnt living up to your standards?

Boo, you aren’t living up to your own with all this criticism, so kindly wrap yourself in that rainbow flag you’re using to hide that knife that you’re gonna use to slit someones throat on social media, and realize that you’ve become the very thing you’re preaching to someone else not to be.

Dont worry about someone else. Focus, on your focus. And if you start trying to boost yourself up, instead of knocking someone else down, you just might learn a valuable lesson about pride, that isn’t some bullshit metaphor you tried searching for,to victimize someone else because you can’t handle that not everything is for you, about you, including you or UP TO YOU.

Be proud of yourself. For you and your shit, and all you do. Be proud. Fucking aaaaye.

But don’t use that pride to rip someone elses’ right out of their hands because it suits you.

If you were really celebrating pride, you’d be celebrating yours, mine, and everyone elses. Not trying to gatekeep the ends of the rainbow so that people only make moves with your stamp of approval.

Happy Pride.

But get fucked if you think you get to dictate what pride is to you, to me, and everyone else too.

And shame on anyone for using it as a weapon to force someone to act how they want or expect.

That’s not pride.. That’s manipulation.